Personal Integrity: The Only Thing You Truly Own
Personal Integrity: The Only Thing You Truly Own
Guest writer Jim Dettore gets into the fundamentals of character with his blog post this week. Personal integrity really is the only thing you truly own, and it builds your reputation.
There’s an old saying that a man’s word is his bond. I believe that with everything in me. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. At least, I try. And when I fail, which happens more often than I’d like to admit, I do my best to make it right. I’ll apologize, own up to it, and ask how I can fix it. That’s what integrity looks like to me.
But here’s the thing: integrity isn’t about perfection. Only one man ever walked this earth in perfect integrity, and He was nailed to a cross for it. The rest of us? We stumble, we fall, we make mistakes. But what separates people of integrity from everyone else is what happens after we fall. Do we get back up, dust ourselves off, and try again? Or do we shrug, make excuses, and let our failures define us?
For me, faith has played a huge role in my understanding of integrity. My belief in God has helped me stay on track when I could have easily veered off the rails. When I let someone down, I don’t just feel bad about it, I feel convicted. And that conviction doesn’t just weigh on me; it pushes me to do better. To be better. Not because I expect to reach perfection, but because striving for it is the right thing to do.
Teaching Integrity to the Next Generation
I try to teach my kids the same thing. I tell them that at the end of the day, their word is all they have. Make it golden. If they say they’re going to do something, I expect them to follow through. And when they don’t, I expect them to make it right. Not because I’m some drill sergeant of morality, but because life is hard enough without people who say one thing and do another. The world has enough of those. What it needs is people who stand by their word, even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it costs them something.
And I tell them this, not because I had a perfect example growing up, but because I didn’t. I grew up without a mom around to teach me these things. My dad worked hard, but he worked different shifts, and that meant he wasn’t always there to pass on the lessons that come from just being around. So, I learned the hard way. What I call “training by trauma.” Some people call it the school of hard knocks, but whatever you call it, it’s a brutal teacher. You learn by failing. You learn by getting burned. You learn by trusting the wrong people, making bad decisions, and realizing, too late, that you should have listened to that little voice in the back of your head.
But I also learned by watching. I learned from friends who had strong character. From mentors who didn’t just talk about integrity, but lived it. People who made me realize that integrity isn’t about what you say, it’s about what you do. And when what you do doesn’t match what you say, people notice. And trust? Well, trust disappears faster than a paycheck on Friday night when integrity goes out the window.
Trust: The Foundation of All Relationships
Trust is the foundation of every relationship we have. Marriages, friendships, business dealings, you name it. When trust is there, things run smooth. When it’s broken, everything falls apart. And you can’t fake trustworthiness. People see right through it. You don’t get to call yourself a man of integrity. Other people decide that. They watch you. They see how you handle tough situations. They notice if your word holds weight or if you throw it around like it doesn’t mean a thing.
And once you lose trust, good luck getting it back. It’s possible, but it’s an uphill battle. Like rebuilding a burned-down house with nothing but a pocketknife and some chewing gum. You have to be consistent. You have to show over and over again that you mean what you say. And you have to be patient because trust takes time. You can destroy it in seconds, but it takes years to rebuild.
The Hard Lessons of Integrity
I’ve had my fair share of hard lessons. Times when I let people down. Times when I thought I was doing the right thing, only to realize later that I’d missed the mark. But every failure has taught me something. Sometimes, the lesson was about humility and realizing that I wasn’t as reliable as I thought. Sometimes, it was about perseverance and learning that just because I failed once doesn’t mean I can’t try again. And sometimes, it was just about owning my mistakes, standing up, and saying, “I messed up. That’s on me. How do I fix it?”
That’s not easy to do. Nobody likes admitting they’re wrong. But I’ve found that people respect honesty more than perfection. They’d rather deal with someone who messes up and owns it than someone who pretends they never make mistakes. And the truth is, the people who act like they’ve got it all together? They’re usually the ones you need to watch out for.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, integrity isn’t about never failing. It’s about how you handle failure. It’s about whether you keep your promises, whether you stand by your word, and whether people can trust you to do what you say you’ll do. It’s about trying your best, even when it’s hard. And when you fall short, it’s about getting back up and trying again, maybe with a different approach, maybe with a little more wisdom than before.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is full of second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. As long as you’re willing to do the work, as long as you’re willing to own your mistakes and make things right, there’s always a way forward.
That’s integrity. And that’s what I try to live by.