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The Relational Ladder

The Relational Ladder

The Relational Ladder

Tonight’s post on the relational ladder is taken from conversations and readings with Ed Wallace.

The world is changing and the noise around us at times is overwhelming. Network News, Round the Clock Cable Stations and then all the social media pounding on us. Cell Phones dinging in the middle of the night. How can we continue to create and maintain the personal relationships that are so important to life in general and your feeling of worth and well-being?

Ed, in his book, provides us a detailed path to follow, or perhaps I should call it a ladder to climb. Most of us driven by quotas and business goals and we are so focused on our objectives that we typically don’t spend enough time on our strategies and approaches for all the people and relationships that we have to have in place. But we have relational capital that we can spend which allows us to succeed.

Let’s quickly review some of Ed’s key points:

 

  • The Principle of Worthy Intent – keeping the client’s wishes at your core
  • The essential qualities of credibility, integrity and authenticity
  • Understand that exhibiting these essential qualities we perform well
  • Paying Attention to our GPS – Goals, Passions and Struggles

 

Through all that we have learned in Building Relationships that Last, we have built a Relational Ladder. A Path that we can follow to ensure we stay on the right track.

At the floor we start with our acquaintances which allows us to establish common ground. This allows us to show our integrity and establish trust with those with whom we are building a relationship. Then from the previous blog we are purposeful with time. We are both helpful and seeking help from everyone with whom we have a relationship.

It is from this approach to relationships that we must consider two important personal characteristics; Humility and Gratitude. It is important to understand and accept that there are people who will know far more than we know and be able to do far more than we can do. This is a good thing as we have many examples of people from whom we can take guidance and create models of activity or behavior ourselves. Humility is a good attribute to have. This allows us to develop the knowledge, self-control and discipline to continue on the path aimed at reaching our potential.

Understanding and accepting your individual sense of purpose is a difficult task. Asking for help as in the Relational Ladder is critical in this process. Understanding our GPS – Goals, Passions and Obstacles is an important piece of the puzzle in building relationships. Then we can move effectively to the next step POP – Purpose, Outcomes and Process. The totality of Building Relationships that Last.

In what I call our Passion to Perform we all have similar traits. We strive for those things that Max was able to exhibit in how he conducted his business.

 

  • Increases in Customer Loyalty
  • Increases in Revenue per Transaction
  • Increased Recurring Business
  • More Competitor-proof
  • Becoming a Respected Advisor

 

Everyone wants to do a good job in anything that they do. Similarly, we can all do more than we think we can. The problem is that most people are fundamentally lazy. That latter point is not necessarily a bad thing it just means that they are trying to be effective, not efficient, in what they do. My purpose in life is as a teacher. It is helping people find and then understand their potential in life and then assisting them in the process of achieving it.

Life is a journey and there are many challenges and opportunities along the way. Learning to manage our professional and private relationships is an important part of our lives. Passionate People Perform. I have learned a lot from Ed and value our relationship. Reading his book and knowing the man has made me a better person.

I am sure that the same will be true for you. Thanks, Ed.

 

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Using Time Purposefully

Using Time Purposefully

Using Time Purposefully

In “Using Time Purposefully,” guest blogger Ed Wallace continues his relationship with Max, in talking on the rides to and from the airport, about how his time gets taken up very quickly if he doesn’t take great care. Max asks him to think about the number 168. Ed then takes us on a journey of sorts.

We all have the same amount of time. We also have a great amount of freedom in how we use that time. And the trouble is we rarely review how valuable the use of that time was for us, personally or professionally. In our relationship ladder we started with “establishing common ground with our clients, employees, friends and families. That took us to the next level in displaying integrity and trust with those people with whom we have relationships. Now comes the critical element of time. Time is one of the few things in life over which we have no control. I don’t mean how we control it; I mean what is available to us. In his book, Ed gives us many examples to consider. They are all worth the time to think about and act on. He also continues in his use of acronyms. Remember G(goals) – P(passions) – S(struggles)? This time it is POP.

POP is the acronym he uses for Purpose – Outcomes – Process. It is wonderful to have these acronyms to remind us of what needs to be done or happen. Everything starts with a PURPOSE, doesn’t it? A goal, an objective, a destination, a deal, a date, whatever. Without a purpose it would not be very interesting. Think about going to a grocery store without any idea of what you were going to buy. Can you picture yourself wandering about aimlessly? Not going to happen is it? So, we start with a PURPOSE. That is good, I am going to try and do something which makes sense, but what is it I’m going to try and accomplish. Of course, you are aiming at an OUTCOME. A result. Alright then the next question is how are you going to do that? What is the PROCESS?

Nice and simple isn’t it? A Purpose leading to an Outcome following a Process.

Relationships are critical in our lives. We are social animals we need each other. In our family lives and our work lives we need people to become successful. More importantly we need people in our lives to make us happy. Imagine if you will if our lives were to continue to be in the state of the past fourteen months with the Pandemic. Compare that to your lives prior to the Pandemic. Society as a whole, is in a lot of stress for whatever reason, financial, schooling, mortgages or rents, loss of jobs, unable to get proper healthcare and all the rest. No one knows the answers or the solutions. Depression has never been at a higher level on the country. It is very significant that at times like these we become more focused on the use of our time. The professor from San Diego State University, James A. Belasco, the coauthor of the important book Flight of the Buffalo, says “people don’t lack motivation – they lack focus.” Ed brings us this smart yet simple approach – POP. Purpose – Outcome – Process.

As with any interaction with people; a phone call, a meeting, a sales call or a talk with your children there are some simple questions to ask yourself:

  • What am I trying to accomplish?
  • How will the other person benefit from it?
  • Is this the right time?
  • Do we have enough time to do this properly?
  • Is it meaningful and appropriate?

Peter Drucker, a famous business teacher and author says – “The clearer the idea you have of what it is you are trying to accomplish, the greater the chance of accomplishing it.” CLARITY is critical and Ed is giving us a very real and clear plan to better succeed at accomplishing our goal of the “purposeful use of our time.”

If managing time is something that you would like to pursue further our Learning On Demand Class on Time Management would be a “purposeful use of your time.”

For more information and thoughts on pursuing your individual potential, please visit our blog for further posts.

You can purchase Ed’s book “Business Relationships That Last” at Amazon and other prominent book stores.

 

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Max and the Little Extras

Max and the Little Extras

Max and the Little Extras

In this latest abstract from Ed Wallace’s book, Business Relationships That Last, Ed and Max, the remarkable taxi driver, remind us that it’s all about the experience that we create for our customers and colleagues and many times that experiences is manifested in doing all of the ‘little things.’ “Max and the Little Extras” is a great reminder of that.

Three weeks later, on the morning Max had agreed to pick me up, I was running a few minutes behind schedule. I kept checking out the front window, hoping to catch him before he rang the doorbell. At exactly 5:00 a.m., I heard a gentle tap on the screen door. As I walked to the taxi with Max, I imagined how many people had probably ridden in his taxi over the previous three weeks, yet despite that large number, he had remembered I had an infant son who was most likely sleeping at such an early hour. Max’s thoughtfulness and ability to remember details about my life impressed me.

During my next several rides to the airport in Max’s marvelous taxi, we talked almost entirely about my life. (Notice that I was no longer driving myself to the airport!) He asked about my work, where I was traveling to, my ambitions, my family. I could hardly believe how at ease I felt opening up to him. I was more comfortable telling Max things about myself than I was telling people I had known much longer. The more time I spent with Max, the more interested I became in learning how he was able to make me—and most likely all of his customers—feel so comfortable.

When asked, he told me a few things about himself, his business, and his day-to-day schedule as a taxi driver and small business owner. His clients could not be easily categorized. They were local CEOs and their colleagues. They were sales professionals going to the airport and elderly people going shopping. They were groups of ladies going to the city for a day at the art museum, lunch, and a nice tour of the historic district. I finally asked how he had developed such a long list of loyal customers, hoping he would provide me with a “secret to success” that most client-facing professionals dream about. “Simple, Ed,” he answered, holding his thumb and index finger about an inch apart. “It’s the little extras that turn fares into friends.” I thought about what Max meant by the “little extras.” Sure, it was great fun riding around in his taxi; it was the only one of its kind in the area and attracted a lot of attention. But that was only a “It’s the little extras that turn fares into friends.” That’s a small part of what made Max a success—and he was a remarkable business success.

After a few minutes, I realized that his entire business philosophy was based on friendship, and the little extras that friends would do for each other. So, I asked, “What are these little extras? Are they the on-time arrivals? The courtesy and warmth? Treating everyone equally? The impeccable upkeep of the taxi and the quiet environment it provides? The bottled water? Listening, remembering, and having a genuine interest in the riders’ lives? The gentle tap on the screen door at five o’clock in the morning?” Max answered, “Yes.” “Which one?” I asked. Just as the words were coming out of my mouth, I got it. Of course, how could I not get it? Max was skilled at identifying and aligning with each rider’s specific needs and situation. But how did he do this? I believe that Max woke up every morning thinking not that he was going to work but that he was going to spend the day with his close friends. This is obviously a very different approach from viewing business as a series of transactions in which both parties want something from each other. If we define friends as “parties who help one another,” and if you consider everyone you interact with your friend, then adding the little extras in your business relationships would be as easy as including them in your personal life, which you do naturally. On the simplest level, Max’s job was to provide a ride from one place to another. Any driver could do that, and do it on time, safely, and courteously. But when you rode with Max, the quality of the relationship, the conversation—the whole experience—was so enjoyable, supportive, enlightening, and pleasant that you didn’t want the trip to be over. He had mastered the art of taking his so-called simple business from a merely transactional level to the It’s the Little Extras!

The Time is Now

For more information on our classes and assessments, please visit us at Learning Without Scars.
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My Friend Max

My Friend Max

My Friend Max

Sometimes wisdom and life changing opportunities come out of the blue. The challenge for us is to recognize them and take heed. In this second abstract from Ed Wallace’s book, Business Relationships That Last, that is exactly what Ed experiences… Please enjoy this guest blog, “My Friend Max.”

My Friend Max

A number of years ago, my sales efforts required that I travel a great deal. I didn’t like being away from my family any more than necessary, so I became king of the day-trippers. It got so that I could leave my home on the East Coast around 5:00 a.m. for a meeting in Minneapolis or Des Moines and still make it back home the same day for a late dinner and to see Brett, our first child, for a few precious minutes before tucking him into bed.

The night before one of these trips, my car developed an engine problem. I asked my wife, Laurie, to reserve a taxi to the airport for me. As usual, when she got involved in helping me solve one of my problems, remarkable events began to unfold. The next morning, I waited anxiously for the car to arrive. At precisely 5:00 a.m. I noticed an old-fashioned British taxi, with stately, rounded exterior lines, running boards, and a large passenger compartment pull up in the front of the house. Even in the faint light of dawn I could tell the car was spotlessly clean. In the short amount of time, it took me to exit the house and lock the door, the driver had already exited the taxi and was on his way up the walk toward the house. He was a tall, lanky fellow with glasses and the sort of calm, kind face you might see in a Norman Rockwell painting. I was about to learn that he was not your average taxi driver. He gave me a warm, “Good morning,” and we walked together toward his parked taxi. I climbed into the passenger area of the car, settled into a luxurious leather seat, stretched out my legs, and felt a deep sense of comfort and relief. When the driver started the car, I noticed there was no noise—no scratchy dispatcher’s voice barking instructions, no jangling music on the radio. A cooler within reach provided a supply of bottled water. It was amazing! As we pulled away, the driver turned around to introduce himself. “Hello, Ed, my name is Max,” he said with a smile. “Glad to meet you, Max,” I replied, wondering how he knew my name. As we drove, he asked me a couple of questions about myself. Since I’m pretty much my own favorite topic, I happily offered plenty of information. He was a terrific listener, and I found myself sharing a good deal about my life with this person that I hardly knew. He had a special calm, sincere demeanor that made me feel comfortable opening up to him. He took special note when I told him about our new young son and how he had just started sleeping through the night. When we arrived at the airport, I gave Max a more generous tip than I usually give drivers. I had so thoroughly enjoyed his company and the stress-free ride to the airport I asked him to schedule me for the following Tuesday. Max hesitated and then said, “I’m truly sorry, Ed, but I cannot pick you up next week.” “What’s wrong, Max, is it something I said?” I inquired, half-jokingly. “No, nothing like that, Ed. I just have a great deal of fares— friends, that is—and they usually need to book three to four weeks in advance with me.” “For a ride to the airport at five o’clock in the morning?” I asked incredulously. “Yes, I have a lot of friends,” Max responded. “I just happened to have a cancellation last night before I got your wife’s request for a ride.” “Okay, how about three weeks from today?” I tried again. “That works. I look forward to seeing you then,” Max answered, and he was off.

We will continue with the story of Max next week.

The Time is Now.

For more information on our classes and assessments, please visit us at Learning Without Scars.
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It’s the Little Things

It’s the Little Things

It's the Little Things

I met Ed Wallace a number of years ago and developed a wonderful relationship with him that continues to this day. Ed wrote a very meaningful book in 2010 titled “Business Relationships that Last.” He has kindly allowed us to use excerpts from this book in our blog. We start the first of a three-part series today with “It’s the Little Things.” You will see the follow-on blogs in the coming weeks. I have found there to be terrific value in this book and feel honored that Ed would allow us share his wisdom with you. I hope you enjoy and it gives you serious food for thought. Ron   

It’s the Little Extras!

Little things make big things happen. —John Wooden

Imagine that today is the last day of your sales cycle and you still have not made your monthly quota. This scenario was all too often a reality for me during my early years in sales. Now imagine that you have built such outstanding business relationships that you could contact any number of your clients and ask for their help with your quota shortfall. Imagine a level of mutual trust and commitment so deep that this request will be as easy for you to make as it will be for your clients to understand. And, finally, imagine they not only understand your need but also offer to fulfill it by signing a contract or placing an order earlier than they had planned. My passionate belief after a twenty-five-year career in sales, executive leadership, and now business ownership is that creating business relationships that last is the secret to success. As I reflect on all of the amazing technological advances that have evolved during my career, I find one remarkable, simple constant: business is still driven by people and relationships. Eventually, human beings need to interact with one another in order to work through all of the details associated with their organizations doing business together. Whether it be the use of a product or service or the acquisition of a new business, humans— with all of our knowledge, skills, goals, emotions, biases, and fears—need to collaborate to get things accomplished. Developing business relationships that last with your clients sometimes seems like a lot of extra work, especially if you cannot ensure a predictable return on the investment from all of your efforts. But even though lasting business relationships can seem as elusive as holding on to sand, learning and applying a process to help you “cup them in your hands” makes it much less challenging than you might think.

We will share with you next time the story about Ed’s friend Max.

The Time is Now.

For more information on our programs and assessments, please visit us at Learning Without Scars.
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A New Value Proposition for Leaders

A New Value Proposition for Leaders

How Do We Measure Success?

Tonight’s blog is courtesy of Ed Wallace, in a continuation of his last blog post: How Do We Measure Success?

Most executives and managers will tell you that strong human relationships are critical to their success. They say they also need their team members and employees to be great at developing and maintaining relationships, collaborating, innovating, advocating for company goals and keeping the organization functioning effectively.  Whether it’s external or internal business relationships, we need to understand how people think and act, what it takes for someone to want to listen to you, help you, work for you, work with you, and even buy from you.

The challenge we face during the pandemic is that proximate relationships are difficult to foster let alone to launch new ones. A recent McKinsey survey indicated that most companies are going to behave like they are as of this writing for another 12 months after the pandemic is over. This leads to what I call the need to become a hybrid relational leader. However, very few leaders take any kind of structural, systematic approach to doing this.

Intentionality

I find it paradoxical that if relationships are so important, then why are leaders unable to display ‘intentionality’ toward them?  The answer is due to the fluid, unpredictable nature of business relationships that makes companies struggle with just how to capitalize on their potential. In fact, many business leaders view developing business relationships as an instinctive mind-set rather than as an approach based on beliefs, new skills, and a repeatable process.  I’ve heard the phrase, “We focus on hiring and growing people with the most magic,” hoping that magic will rub off on everyone else. The common result is a haphazard, almost accidental process of relationship development. How risky is that now that we can’t meet with people in person as often?

What’s Missing?

So, why are leaders missing the relational mark? My experience, through many years of research into business relationships and working with over 28,000 business professionals and 300 companies, has shown me that there are five identifiable principles that lead to intentional relationship development whether it be proximate or digital and, not surprisingly, superior performance.  They are at the very heart of the practice of the most successful leaders at all levels in organizations and life. The Five Principles of the Relational Leader are:

  1. Display Worthy Intent
  2. Care About People’s Goals, Passions, and Struggles
  3. Make Every Interaction Matter
  4. Value People Before Processes
  5. Connect Performance to a Purpose

 

The Five Principles of the Relational Leader

Relational Agility: A New Competency

These principles form a system of beliefs for high performers that Relational Leaders follow and apply intentionally. I define this intentionality as the way Relational Leaders coordinate a principled, purposeful and practical relational approach. This results in a competency that I call relational agility that allows them to bridge the generational, cultural, and yes, the pandemic gaps, that exist today. Through my experiences and research, I know they can be learned, practiced and improved bringing a surprising level of precision to relationships in organizations.

This begins with the first principle, known as Display Worthy Intent- putting the other person’s goals and values at the forefront of each business relationship, creating an exceptional experience for others. Relational Leaders then apply the remaining principles to create relationships that immunize them against all competitors both within and outside their organizations.

We all create plans and strategies for many aspects of life – education, careers, building a home, retirement, and even playing games with our children. So why leave the development of important business relationships largely to improvisation or magic when even magicians have a disciplined process to accomplish their illusions. Relational Leaders deliver on the new value proposition for leadership through a strategic, intentional focus on their business relationships using the five principles and process that I shared in this article. Companies that ‘invest in relational capital’ will be the long-term winners in today’s complex business environment.

The margin for error in business today is razor thin, so why takes chances on your relationships!

Ed Wallace, President, AchieveNEXT Human Capital.

Ed consults with and speaks for corporations and associations across the globe with a client list that is a Who’s Who of Fortune 500 companies. He is the author of Fares to Friends, Creating Relational Capital, Business Relationships That Last, and his most recent the #1 best seller, The Relationship Engine.  In addition, Ed is currently on the Executive Education faculty of Drexel’s LeBow College of Business and Villanova University’s Human Resources Master’s program. https://www.linkedin.com/in/relcapgroup/

 

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How Do We Measure Success?

How Do We Measure Success?

Today we are pleased to introduce to you a valued colleague. Ed Wallace. Ed will share his insights with us from time to time. You will see in his bio that he is an author. I would strongly advise those of you who read and gain new perspectives from books that Ed provides clear and easy to read advice which you can translate into your work and your personal life.

Ed Wallace, President, AchieveNEXT Human Capital.

Ed consults with and speaks for corporations and associations across the globe with a client list that is a Who’s Who of Fortune 500 companies. He is the author of Fares to Friends, Creating Relational Capital, Business Relationships That Last, and his most recent the #1 best seller, The Relationship Engine.  In addition, Ed is currently on the Executive Education faculty of Drexel’s LeBow College of Business and Villanova University’s Human Resources Master’s program. https://www.linkedin.com/in/relcapgroup/

How Do We Measure Success?

Hint: It comes through the experiences we create for others

While many leaders prioritize new products and services and hard assets that can be plugged into spreadsheets, research reveals that core business relationships are the true catalyst for driving high performance. At the same time business relationships are unpredictable and hard to measure. They’re rarely captured on organization charts or strategic plans. Most leaders, in fact, leave business relationships to chance, and simply hope that cross-generational conflicts, organizational complexity, diversity, and other organizational barriers will just go away because, ‘we’re hiring great people.’

We see today’s leaders winning by investing in ‘Relational Capital’ with their colleagues, teams, and across their enterprises. Relational Capital is defined as the ‘distinctive value created by people in a business relationship.’ It forms where the qualities of credibility, integrity and authenticity converge when working with each other. So how do ‘relational leaders’ hit the relational mark?

My experience through many years of research into business relationships and training over 30,000 business professionals has revealed five identifiable principles that lead to effective relationship development and, not surprisingly, superior performance. These principles don’t exist only in the business world but are at the heart of most successful people’s lives. Through my experiences and research, I know they can be learned, practiced and improved, bringing a surprising level of precision to relationships in organization.

The Five Principles of the Relational Leader

  1. Display Worthy Intent
  2. Care About People’s Goals, Passions, and Struggles (GPS)
  3. Make Every Interaction Matter
  4. Value People Before Processes
  5. Connect Performance to a Purpose

(Wallace, The Relationship Engine, Harper 2016)

These principles form a system of beliefs for high performers that Relational Leaders follow and apply intentionally. The result is what I call ‘relational agility’ that can bridge the generational and cultural gaps that exist in today’s organizations and harness the collective talents, thoughts, and efforts of people. As Ron Slee, who heads up Learning Without Scars, suggests, ‘the biggest differences that I see are that millennials are impatient. Today a lot of older management view that as a negative quality. I view that as a positive. If these younger employees are not learning and growing their potential, as employees, they do not want to stay around. I really admire that quality. They have a need, if not a thirst to learn. They want to continuously improve. They want up-skilling.’

Understanding this element of the Relational GPS of younger employees will allow for management to understand ways to support and foster the development of younger team members.

We will visit again soon.

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Goals – Passion – Struggles

Goals – Passion – Struggles

Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting a gentleman by the name of Ed Wallace. He is he author of many books as well as being on the faculty of Drexel’s LeBow College of Business and Villanova University’s Human Resources Master’s Program.

In his book “Business Relationships That Last” he talks about five steps to transform contacts into high-performing relationships. It is a great read.

In it he talks about GPS. No, not the type in your car or on your telephone, GPS in your relationships with people. He is telling us that if you are perceived by people, your customers, your co-workers, your family and friends, to be interested in and helping them deal with their goals and passions and struggles you are on the way to building a strong relationship with them. There is a problem with this though isn’t there? People generally will not share their goals, passions and struggles. They have to have developed trust with you first.

You develop trust in how you communicate with them and how you are as a person. Do you care about them? Do you listen to them when they are talking? No, I mean LISTEN to them not just hearing them. It is about who you are as a person. Are you capable in what you do, your competence? Are you credible? Do you know what it is that you are talking about and are you believable? These are very simple attributes that I am sure each of you have in a large quantity.

Read the book, have a fresh look then at how you operate. It will be worth your while. You will be building better relationships every day. You will be more conscious of how you are being with others. That is a terrific beginning, isn’t it?

The Time is Now.